Still spinning a little

Yesterday, I nearly died .
Daniel Enrique Alvarado, the love of my every being and life, passed out in the elevator of the library and was taken to the hospital. I didn’t even know how to react. At first when he told me, I thought he was joking. He does that sometimes…but then his voice was shaking and I realized that he was actually in a hospital bed, with an IV hooked to his hand. He was serious. When he told me he had to hang up because the doctor was coming in I didn’t know what to do. I tried to call my sister but my hands couldn’t dial the number. I couldn’t even speed dial. I have never been so worried, so shaken, so shocked in my life. Which is saying a lot, if you think about my life.
I’ve never realized what one phone call can do. Just one, a few seconds. Not even a second. And I felt like I was buried in unidentified rubble. Rubble made up of the deep parts of me, of him, and everything in the world. He’s fine now. He was discharged within two hours and he even caught his flight to Wisconsin that we thought he was going to miss. Everything is back to normal. It was only stress, lack of sleep and a need for a decent meal. But in the moment, I couldn’t process. I don’t know if you have ever been so worried about someone else that your breath didn’t seem to want to stay inside you, that your hands felt like they were connected to someone else’s body since you couldn’t seem to make them do anything you needed to do, and you face looked unfamiliar in the mirror only because you were thinking about someone else’s face.
I can’t say I had forgotten how much I loved Daniel, or that I took him for granted. But when something like that happens, it makes you understand why some people die at the same time. It’s because they truly can’t survive without each other.
ANYway. Crazy day. Awful crazy actually. He’s perfectly fine now, though. A little unhappy that he had to catch his plane and fly to Wisconsin without any clothes, luggage, or anything since he was in the hospital til the last minute, but he is healthy and safe and THANK GOD. But I’ve been praying non stop for the past 16 hours…at first it was beggar prayers. You know. The kind where you can’t even think so you just say “Please, please, please God. Anything! Just please…” and nothing else comes out. But now all I can do is thank him over and over again.
I’m blessed beyond belief…and I want everybody to know that. That was the point of this blog, you know.